get a cat
What kind of cat owner are you?
Your cat is on the bed. You:
Snarl 'I told you not to get on there', and possibly hurl a shoe
Gently move the cat to its basket
Curl up next to the cat, you and moggy always have a snooze together
Decide to have a nap on the sofa, since you might wake the cat up otherwise
You have not seen your cat for a few hours. You:
Shrug, and say 'It will turn up sometime.'
Go outside and bang a dinner plate yelling 'here kittykins!'
Wander around the neighborhood calling the cat's name
Call the vet, the fire brigade and press gang the neighbors into a search posse
Your cat's favourite biscuits aren't in the supermarket. You
Get the cheapest brand - as always
Get kitty's second favourite
Drive three miles to the next store
Do above after first berating the manager of the store you are in
Which of these applies
You are constantly picking cat hairs off your clothes
You brush off cat hairs if you are going somewhere important
You buy clothes that colour-coordinate with your cat's hairs
Since kitty has clawed your clothes to rags, why are hairs a big deal?
You think cat-shaped fridge magnets are naff
You have the odd china cat about the house
You have the above and a bumper sticker from the Cat Protection League
You have all above and a cat motif on your underwear
If a loved one said 'It's me or that cat'
You'd brain kitty yourself
You would reluctantly call the RSPCA
You'd insist 'Love me, love my cat.
The 'loved one' IS the cat - a human partner is optional
Which one applies?
You can guess your cat's age to the nearest five years
You have a record of your cat's birth date
You give kitty a birthday treat
Kitty gets a bigger party and present than you get on your birthday
The vet's phone number is
In your organizer
Right next to the phone
... and on the fridge, in your diary, the desk at work, your mum's ...
If you meet a strange cat on the street you
Try to pet it, and not look stupid when it walks away
Crouch down and talk to the cat in a high-pitched baby voice
Ignore it - your cat does not like you fraternizing with strangers
You know about cats because
You have one or more
From the above and from talking with friends
From the above two and you have a cat-owner's handbook
From all the above (well several books) and the net, and your magazine subscription(s), and from spending two hours a week at the vet, and your work at the animal sanctuary and from your cat newsletter, and from talking to breeders, and from cat shows, and the cat channel on TV (well, there is not one yet, but you are campaigning for it ..)